one day many thoughts

-i met a kitten in a boutique today. his name is george and he loves playing. i love visiting places that life happens and arent a manufactured experience. I deplore manufactured experiences. I like George.

-I bought a new moleskine today and Im promising myself to not be afraid of exploration. I must conquer this feeling of inadequacy and just try.

-Today is a gorgeous day, 65* on November 26 doesnt happen that often. I am glad I get to walk around downtown Iowa City and experience it.

-I met up with a lot of bums today. I told the truth when I said I didnt have any change on me to spare. The only one that bothered me was the woman and child who asked me to buy them food. I told her I couldnt help her. This was self preservation-I am a small woman and by myself. I dont like to get involved with strangers when I am by myself. I also wanted her to justify her need to me. Who is the child with her, is he a prop? Does buying her a meal now really help? - I need to ponder these issues. Who am I to quantify and qualify her need? What is my responsibility in this situation? Is my personal safety and comfort worth more than her empty stomach? Do i make up rules to limit my giving to places and times I can control? My hands are way too clean I think, I need to make room for more dirt in my life.

-I bought a coffee and croissant for 4.17

-I bought a card and flowers for amber today as a belated birthday present because we never see each other.

-Its coming down to do or die time with my career and employment. I really want PR to work out. It sunk in for me that this is all up to me. I either have it or I don't. I should stock up on cojones while they are on sale.