a complex christmas

i have been thinking lately about my lifestyle. Some events, like the homeless one, have shed light on my true nature and disposition. I am quite selfish and lazy and dishonest and stubborn.
So i am thinking that i need to change that. But I always make it so complicated to worship god and practice my faith. Then I never end up doing anything. I think part of this comes from our culture so full of do-it-yourself expertise and magazines and books full of advice and fantasies to make everything perfect. I am in my faith the same way I am in my artistic life. I think everything has to be perfect the first time round otherwise its not worth the trouble.

But my friend Karen called last night and asked if we could meet today and pray. One simple phone call, one simple breakfast, on simple act of worship with a friend.

I have re-read Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawerence and it talks about simply living out the presence of god everyday. A continual inner conversation that may start off slowly and intermittently, but over time becomes a natural extension of consciousness, a continual practice.

so i will start with christmas and start living the lifestyle i know is right.